| Wednesday, August 20th, 2008 |
| 2:08 pm |
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| Wednesday, June 18th, 2008 |
| 10:56 pm |
hope is what i got baby!!!
everything feels so stagnant right now...but i can feel it changin'! i can't wait...but i have to...i really need a second job...trying to get rid of a bunch of shit...goin to look at a twnhouse tom... with sam...seriously for this to be my last year in lex feels so right...i think i can do what i dream of...i can feel a shift in tha plates...positive tho it hurtz. Current Mood:  bouncy |
| Friday, June 16th, 2006 |
| 5:25 am |
i could not remember how to leave a fucking lj
ha ...anyway new apt...hopefully ala lexvegas as long as i can stand...but luckily in the same building as my lil benners....krs 1 liked and i even got to show to my lil baby hoxer and her lil buddy....thursday are fun sometimes. |
| Monday, September 19th, 2005 |
| 2:11 am |
run.
tonite = best hotbox practice ever! new cover song is tight. new job is tight. won a bet with my mom=new shoes. new job=free beauty products. feelin good...feeling great...worried about dacey tho...praying for him tonite. |
| Thursday, August 25th, 2005 |
| 5:49 pm |
tonite
7 pm 7 dollars the HUG ben nichols from lucero and tim barry from avail solo acoustic and more come out. |
| Wednesday, August 24th, 2005 |
| 1:24 am |
my birthday and such
i woke up at like one or two and kristen made me dinosaur shaped pancakes, exotic fruit mix, and mimosas! then we watched some crucial tv...chris anglin picked me up and we hit up the woodland art fair but it twas lame...then he bought me some birthday bananas ice cream from coldstone and i accidentally punched him in the face really hard...but i was kinda drunk from the mimosas in my defense...later i went home chilled and matt king came over and made a sweet dinner of chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans...lovely then we rushed on down to the dame for hank3, lots of gross old dudes up in there of course but it was fun...hox and i went everywhere begging for birthday shots and such...dunn hooked us up as did fudge...after the show somehow i believe thru kristen we ended up on the hank bus where some dude gave me some nugs of ganja and several shots/beers then we left and that was pretty much it...it was an ok birthday...i ran into rudy who i hadn't seen in a while...now i am deep in the jobsearch again...but at least my bank account is no longer negative...and i recieved a check in the mail from the gas co. so i think i only owe like twenty bucks so sweet...i need a job, and one that pays more than 6.50 cause i am twenty four and i need to pretend like i am semi adult sometimes....i am thankful for holly and kristen and my other friends who called and sent text messages...kristen thanks and tim for my dress...holly i loved my cake and balloons...yup. |
| Saturday, August 20th, 2005 |
| 12:46 am |
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| Wednesday, August 17th, 2005 |
| 11:40 pm |
|
| Monday, August 15th, 2005 |
| 1:33 pm |
and uh
so man things have been i don't know...visitation hard, seeing your 25 year old friend's parents outlive him is a strange thing...funeral stranger, first time to see someone actually be put in the ground and get covered by the dirt...oh hunter. we have all been talking about our hunter related tattoos that we are planing so that should be nice to see...friday night we were broke as usual but determined to get to covington,ky to the mad hatter to see smoke or fire, planes mistaken for stars, and glass and ashes...we had to borrow some cash but we made it there...we hung out with my friend nick and drank pbrs...then i got kinda irritated for reasons i won't go into so i began to drink quite heavily and talked to lots of random people..at the end of the show we were all outside and the dudes in pmfs gave holly and kristen some chips and salsa and then they all expressed their desire to play in our basement...either the singer or bassist of pmfs was all like "how do we find the hug, do we just get to ky and ask where the hug is?" hahaha that makes me laugh...i think we could have hung out with them but it is probably better that we left when we did..the next day my friend jj was in town so he stopped by with his weird fellow russell countier derek...we decided we were all bored so we spent money we don't have on bourbon and jager...we took shots and then holly the soberest drove us all on a field trip...we sang rilo kiley and got rear ended on main street but it was all in good fun...after the sweet field trip both of the guys who couldn't drink quite as much as hox and i, passed out...early that morning that derek kid got up pissed on our carpet and some of my cds and then he said something about corned beef and hash...wtf!? the next day we had a show here, i would set myself on fire for you, shitstorm, anaac, petticoat, in tongues and i think thats it...it went fine so that was cool, i did my best to make matt gibson and steveo feel horribly uncomfortable cause that is always fun...crazy d aka david webster popped by which was the light of my life, we took shots and had a good talk about hunter and eugene records and the date we are going on with holly amd he had kristy huff with him, and i knew her about a million years ago thru 4h camp, once i gave her my extra tongue ring, random...well that was my weekend so... |
| Wednesday, August 10th, 2005 |
| 5:18 am |
tonite.or this morning.
rocky called me at 4 23 am and it was good to know that at that exact moment i was crying for hunter here in lexington that rocky can call me from pittsburg and try and comfort me....he said he felt hunter around him and that he was around us all checking on us...i feel him too, i know. i like to know there is comfort...but i will never let go of him...i think he pretty well knows that by now. tomorrow and the next will be perhaps the hardest two days of my life thus far. |
| Tuesday, August 9th, 2005 |
| 8:27 am |
i honestly
feel so fortunate now...just to have known him. |
| Saturday, August 6th, 2005 |
| 3:56 pm |
all i see in my head
is the first time i laid eyes on him...at k's the first time i had gone out in two years cause i had been with mike. he was so cute wearing his skirt and big round glasses. he couldn't swim. i thought we had more time together. we were a lot alike both really messy emotionally and we were both always sick. i have a bunch of his stuff in my room. i can't believe he won't ever be in my house or take a nap in my bed or that i will never hear his deep ass voice rap in my basement ever again. i wrote him a letter. i hope he knew/knows how much we all love him. the last time he called i was asleep and then i didn't call him back. then i saw him at the dame. i can't even imagine how david is feeling right now. i know that they were on such a high starting the tour and releasing the record...i quit my job this morning. |
| Friday, August 5th, 2005 |
| 1:07 pm |
i
honestly can't really believe this....hunter...i don't know what to say... |
| Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005 |
| 1:30 pm |
|
| Sunday, July 31st, 2005 |
| 7:25 pm |
too codependant
i basically suck at life...the past couple weeks i haven't done anything at all. and the beat goes on. kristen is never home anymore and when she is she is hanging out with everyone but me. holly is probably gonna start dating that one guy and then i will never see her. the only time anyone makes any attempt to get a hold of me is when they need something from me like my basement for a show or someone's phone number or some shit. i went to practice today and almost started crying because, well i don't really know why. i guess partially because i feel like i am not even really close with anyone in the band anymore except holly and maybe someone else should sing besides me. i am too emotional and moody and if people aren't making me feel like i am important and valuable then i don't feel like i am. i feel like my entire life has been completely pointless. my birthday is in three weeks, i will be twenty four and i have nothing to show for it. twenty four years equals a big fat fucking nothing. i haven't gone to school, i don't have a career, i don't have a significant other, my cats would probably rather live with my mom cause she plays with them more. i suck. i have lost touch with my spark. my mojo is gone and i don't even really care. for the the first time in years i really feel like completely giving up. i am tired of jumping thru hoops with no result. note kids...when you are unfocused and don't drive toward one specific goal you will end up completely alone with nothing to show for your life. i used think i was ok, just a late bloomer, but now i feel more like a flower unable to bloom. i'm just so tired of all these star wars. |
| 1:45 pm |
i never do.
anything anymore on the weekends cause i never have money and then also all the people who used to be my friends....aren't really anymore... |
| Friday, July 29th, 2005 |
| 11:46 pm |
broken glass always ruins my life
my youngest cat, josie got cut on a piece of broken beer bottle left from some stupid show at my house...she is currently getting stitches which cost over $600. |
| Thursday, July 28th, 2005 |
| 12:10 pm |
leifjsdfiejgtw
i have no energy i think i am seriously gonna drop at any moment ...my heart is beating really fast then slowing down. |
| Monday, July 25th, 2005 |
| 1:21 am |
today.
i think i am going to nashville by myself to see cruiserweight and the letters organize. at exit inn. |
| Saturday, July 16th, 2005 |
| 6:08 am |
suprisingly
i have hung out with someone in lexington the last two nights who so far seems awesome in all ways...and he is over the age of seventeen...he may be x2...we haven't even kissed yet....but i am excited...he is so rad, so far... |
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